31 Comments

March 2012 Blog Chain: It Rained That Day


Tweet of the Day: teaser Tuesday has a knife and isn’t afraid to use it

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Well, you know the drill. New month, new Blog Chain from our friends from the Absolute Write forums:

March 2012 Blog Chain

Starting Date: Monday, March 5, 2012
Open to all forum members, even after it starts!

This month’s prompt:
Rainy Days

Write wherever the prompt inspires you. It can be fiction or non-fiction, all wet or high and dry, mushy mud or hard-packed earth. If you want to go with snow, hail, boiling hellrain, biblical frograin, or some other kind of precipitation, knock yourself out.

Instructions:
Simply post your blog’s URL in this thread to join. Each post should be less than 1000 words if possible. Read and comment on other participants’ posts if you possibly can–they’ll be doing the same for you!

So lets have at it, shall we?

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The clouds outside gave us the rain, but we provided the thunder. Her shouts shredded what was left of we.

“Say something!” she screamed at me from across the living room. Tears streaked down her cheeks. She paced on her side of the room like a caged lioness.

“And say what?” I said. I held my tongue. To say it was to make it true.

“Anything!,” she turned her back at me, “I hate you. Your smugness, your need to be always right, to be the good guy.”

“Smugness?” She would not let this go. The idea that I was anything but the wronged party pissed me off, “Fine! This is over. The marriage, this family, is over and all because of you. I should have seen it sooner, the secrets, the sneaking around and now our son is curled under the sheets, listening to every word we say.” She wheeled around, her eyes wide in horror. “That’s right. I’ve been there Alice, I know what it feels to have your world torn apart by people that say they cared about you. But guess what, I wasn’t the one who instead of telling the truth decided to cheat with a co-worker. I trusted you and you destroyed it all.”

“You were never there,” she said, her shoulders slumped, her eyes fixed on the stairs. The stairs that lead to Ricky’s room.

“I was working, providing, doing my part. I remember how you bragged to your friends about the new house, and the car and the vacations. Who the hell payed for all of that? But it wasn’t enough. Okay, I get that. But you never told me! You kept your mouth shut and cheated on me. Go back to your shrink, and your cosmo zipping friends. This marriage is over. There is only one thing left.”

“And what is that?”

“Who will our son love or hate. Because that is what it really boils down to Alice. He is going to love one of us and hate the other. It’s just that simple,” the idea that Ricky would hate me as I once hated my father churned my stomach. “I can live with that. But,” I pointed at her, “the one thing I will not let you do is use him as a weapon against me. Do you hear me? You can have whatever you want, the house, the car, whatever, but Ricky’s future is none negotiable.”

“How dare you!”

“Speak the truth? Somebody has too. I told you, I’ve been here before. I know this dance.”

“I am not that harpy of a mother you got.”

“True, harpies are know for screeching, not lying.”

Those words were the final slap. She ran upstairs. The next morning my lawyers met her lawyers. Court dates were set, documents drawn up, deals struck. All for naught. For it rained again the day Alice slid her car under the semi. Could have been the weather or at 1.0 the alcohol in her blood.

It rained the day of her funeral too.

We stood, under a canopy of black umbrellas as the preacher spoke his words.  Little Ricky sat beside me. There was no question of who he would love and hate. It would be me in equal measure.  That was my lot until the day I died. And with my luck, it would rain.

——-

Please visit and comment on the blogs below:

Participants and posts:
orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
Bogna – http://bemaslanka.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
Nissie – http://www.paperheroes.net (link to this month’s post)
Lyra Jean – http://beyondtourism.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
Domoviye – http://working-in-china.com (link to this month’s post)
magicmint – http://www.loneswing.com (link to this month’s post)
areteus – http://lurkingmusings.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
julzperri – http://www.fishandfrivolity.blogspot.com (link to this month’s post)
hillaryjacques – http://hillaryjacques.blogspot.com (link to this month’s post)
Turndog-Millionaire – http://turndog-millionaire.com (link to this month’s post)
AFord – http://af12.webs.com (link to this month’s post)
pyrosama – http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com (link to this month’s post)
Tomspy77 – http://thomas-willam-spychalski.webs.com (link to this month’s post)
ronbwriting – http://ronbwriting.blogspot.com (link to this month’s post)
randi.lee – http://emotionalnovel.blogspot.com (link to this month’s post)
J. W. Alden – http://www.authoralden.com (link to this month’s post)

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31 comments on “March 2012 Blog Chain: It Rained That Day

  1. Wow, that ending was unexpected, but rather well brought on! Nice job.

  2. Ralph,

    This is a wonderfully engaging story. The imagery is so rich and I really feel for the main character.

    I have to tell you, your opening paragraph is amazingly gripping and so very unique and original. From the first sentence I was completely hooked.

    Nice job on this; I look forward to reading more from you!

    • I thought it was a bit hackneyed myself, but hey if you liked it, I’m not one to complain. As for the opening paragraph, “It was a dark and stormy night,” was taken so…. :)

  3. Wow, you didn’t hold back on that, did you? Straight from the shoulder…POW!

    Your dialogue was real and not cliched. Raw. That’s what it was.

    And I absolutely love the rain that threaded this all together.

    Awesome!

  4. Well-written, Ralph. Your characters brought the whole entire scene to life. Kudos for handling such a sensitive topic–the dreaded “d”-word–with a genuine dose of harsh reality where and whenever young children are involved. Cheers!

  5. Gripping post! Great job of making the tension feel real until the unexpected end. You managed to get quite a bit of the characters’ story into the short space you were working with. :)

  6. Wow. My jaw hurts. Stomach too, but in a good way of course. There is something frightening about what you wrote. Probably cause its so raw. Good job!

  7. Fabulous tension, and such sad certainty in the ending. Nicely done.

  8. wow, that’s a rather strong story. I felt a little bit of the dialogue became a little stilted at times (like when you said ‘whom’), but nothing too serious. In general a very nice journey through the pain and anger and certainly kept me interested

    Goof job :)

    Matt (Turndog Millionaire)

    • True. Writing fiction on the spot, so to speak, can lead to stuff like this. Then again, while I do try to make my dialogue as natural as possible, sometimes even grammar hits me in the back of the head particularly hard.

  9. Holy crap. I have no words.. well a few, I loved it and totally didn’t expect that ending. You sucked me in the whole way, loved it!

  10. […] (link to this month’s post) Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post) pyrosama – http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com (link to this month’s post) Nissie – […]

  11. […] (link to this month’s post) Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post) pyrosama – http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com (link to this month’s post) Nissie – […]

  12. Agh! I’m a child of divorce and while I don’t remember my parents arguing in front of my brother and I this hit me pretty hard. Wow! Good job. My parents did not use us against each other and it wasn’t long and drawn out or anything like that. But yeah it still affected us.

    Sorry, don’t mean to get into it all just reading this brought stuff up. So yeah, good writing.

    Just so you know both my parents are alive and happily remarried. I have a good relationship with all four of my parents.

    • Sadly mine did, mostly my mother. She didn’t mean to hurt me, or did it overtly, but that’s how it happened. My parents are still alive and I’m glad you have a good relationship with all involved.

  13. Pretty good. Nice emotion, nice ending, overall strong emotions.
    Nice work.

  14. You really hooked me into the story right away, good job.
    Love the post.

  15. Aw, that’s rough. Tough read but a good one, and hopefully not based on any kind of a true story!

    I think you meant “your” when you say “your smugness.”

  16. What a way to pull out so many raw emotions! My sister went through a terrible divorce…and the children are stuck in the middle. So sad.

    But great job with this piece. Certainly struck an emotional chord with many people. That’s a plus. :)

  17. […] (link to this month’s post) Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post) pyrosama – http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com (link to this month’s post) Nissie – […]

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