16 Comments

WeWriMa- #8sunday/03-01-15: Lunch


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Welcome back to another edition of Weekend Writing Warriors. This is another snippet from my current WiP, Lessons of War.  Last time Chief Inspector Mara Hayle met a liaison from Baron Montagu’s court which just arrived on the colony world of Gideon to “assist” with the investigation of the colonial governor (and the Baron’s brother). They decide to discuss the particulars of the case over lunch, but Antonio Saavedra has other ideas.

Antonio chose a small cafe two blocks down from the Metropolitan Police HQ. After ordering two coffees with sandwiches he got down to business.

“I’m glad you agreed to this. It will make things smoother,” he said.

“I don’t have much of a choice, now do I?” I said.

He took a long zip from his steaming cup of espresso, “No, you don’t and that is the point. The Baron sees it as both a personal attack as well as an attack on his authority. He and his forces are on their way  to Gideon even as we speak.”

Seems like things are heating up and Inspector Hayle is in a tighter spot that she realized. As always, please visit my fellow writers on the WeWRiWa blog chain by following the link above.

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16 comments on “WeWriMa- #8sunday/03-01-15: Lunch

  1. Nice crisp sentences. Even though they’re sitting around having a conversation and drinking coffee, there’s a sense of action and urgency.

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  2. Eeek,looks like the situation just got even more tense. Great snippet!

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  3. I like how Antonio gave the image of hospitality, only to leave Mara feeling uncomfortable and guarded. Nice work!

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  4. Crisp dialogue. War is on its way to Gideon, I think.

    RIP Leonard. No one like him…

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  5. Ooh. Mara is going to get even more unhappy with the situation. Am I right in thinking the Baron’s men are going to make the investigation a lot harder?

    Lovely tribute to Mr. Nimoy.

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  6. When a choice is no choice at all…

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  7. Oh, no, we can’t have the Baron annoyed, can we? What horrors. 😛 Now they’re going to have to deal with all the fuss he’s going to kick up.

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  8. Does seem like a very tight situation, wonder what she’ll do. Great 8!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Great snippet! I love the short sentences and the way you convey the urgency of the situation in their vocab.

    Liked by 1 person

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