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Alliance News Entertainment Desk
December 30, 2196
Movies in 2197: Adaptations, Remakes and Sequels
By Joan Calder
MILGROM, BEKENSTIEN – If this year was the “Year of the Historical Vid” then next year is shaping up to be the year of adaptations and sequels. Action adventure books and movies will dominate the release schedule for all of 2197.
In a surprise announcement author Raquel McWood signed an agreement to bring to the screen her FTL series of young adult books. FTL is set in an alternate reality where there is no Citadel Council. Instead every fifty years representatives from different races compete in a perilous race across the galaxy with the winner crowned regent of the galaxy. Two sets of newcomers, an enterprising pair of young humans with a state of the line frigate vie to challenge the fan favorite quarian/geth team of Shandra and Unit 56, while the krogan underdogs called the Clutch in a heavily modified tramp light freighter jockey for the lead. The teen action-romance-dramedy is set to hit the box office sometime in May.
Turian action star Anton Vilius returns to the cinema with Archangel: Illium Dawn. The turian vigilante tracks the source of the new hallucinogen flooding Omega’s alleys to a corrupt joint asari/salarian pharmaceutical conglomerate at the top of the five hundred largest companies in Illium. There he joins forces with a galaxy renown asari assassin out of for revenge. Miraflor Studios is banking on another wildly profitable year.
Capitalizing on the Quarian New Wave comes the long rumored sequel to Fleet & Flotilla, Fleet, Flotilla & Task Force. The dastardly pirate Longinius vows revenge against the quarian Merchant Fleet after his defeat at the end of F&F. Bellicus and Shalei re-ignite their romance as they seek to stop their old nemesis. Enter a handsome human Alliance commander by the name of Roderick who claims to have vital information about Longinius plans. Will Shalei fall for the newcomer or remain faithful to Bellicus? Will Bellicus look the other way or fight for the quarian he loves? Is Roderick intentions pure or does he have ulterior motives?
On the heels of the success of Blasto 8 comes Blasto 9: Blasting Back to the Beginning. In a return to the wacky, high action formula of the past, Blasto finds an ancient time machine on the planet of Delos that hurls the first hanar Specter back a billion years into the past to face a race of Proto- Reapers which leads to an epic showdown between the “Jelly Crew” and the ancient war machines of destruction. Director Miguel Bayeux promises, “ten times more gunfights, twenty times the cross- species romances, and fifty times the number of explosions than all the other Blasto movies combined.”
Another highly anticipated vid is Vaenia: War Torn Love , a remake of the acclaimed 2185 vid, Vaenia. The story is set during the aftermath of the Reaper occupation of Thessia. Two pure blood asari fall in love and attempt to survive the horrors of war complicated by their membership in different factions fighting to rule the ruins of the once mighty republics. Glaukos Entertaiment has come under criticism,”for creating a smutty exploitation vid that mocks the difficult conditions the asari people currently find themselves in for cheap entertainment value.” G-E spokesperson, Lauriana S’yllya replied that, “the film explores difficult events in the life of modern asari, their loves, their fears, their hopes,” and that, “true love knows no boundaries.” G-E pledged that twenty percent of the box office gross will go to charities that care for refugees and orphans of the conflict in asari space.
And finally we have Earth: Too Dry to be Called Water a three hour long vid with the best material from ELO’s tour of Alliance space under the same name. The Hanar Anti-Defamation League call for a Citadel space-wide boycott was so far fell on deaf ears (or anatomical equivalents) as early ticket sales have broken several records and crashed multiple servers. The movie comes in the heels of rumors that former Battlespace correspondent, Diana Allers, had a brief but intense affair with the famed hanar comedian. While neither side has confirmed (or denied) the allegations, extranet celebrity commentator Cary Stios claims she has in her possession, “several hours of vids that confirm in graphic detail the passion between the two.”
Joan Calder is a correspondent for ANN Entertainment Division.