May Flash Fiction Challenge: The Tour

Tweet of the Day: Killing Time OST- 21c- Nerves


I hope more people join in the challenge this month.  I’ve learned that I love to read flash fiction. The random sentence generated by WritingFix.com for this month is: “He should have never been there in the first place.”

Now for the rules of the challenge.

  • You must start your story with the sentence: ”He should have never been there in the first place.”
  • The story must be 500 words or less
  • Your story needs to have a clear beginning, middle and end.

The challenge ends June 1st.


He should have never been there in the first place. His stomach rose and fell with the helicopter as it flew across the desert sky. He was no soldier, but his boss insisted.

Everybody does it Stevens. It’s simple. Just go out there with this laptop and fill in the report. Just fill in the blanks. It’ll take you a day and you’ll be back here drinking lattes in no time.

Easy for his ex-marine boss to say, but not for a fresh graduate of Oklahoma State Business School. But he was getting the hang of it. Felt just like a roller coaster ride and he loved those. Beside him tough looking mercs chatted with a mix of South African and South American accents, security in case things got rough. But who would shoot at a guy from a company who installed water treatment plants? But they company hired them for a reason. Probably for the same reason they payed him six grand starting bonus and twice his monthly salary while he was out here. His mother didn’t like it but he had college loans to pay and living costs. Houston wasn’t cheap after all. Besides he only had three months to go in his “tour” and he would be back in the States.

Stevens heard a plock, plock, plock from outside, as if some bratty kid was throwing pebbles at the helicopter. Then the bottom dropped out. He could see through the window in front of him the world alternate from ground to sky and back again. A smoke trail crossed in front of the helo, another passed below them. Then a bang above his head, the machine shock violently but kept flying. Beeping filled the cabin along side the frantic calls from the pilots. Another shock and everything went sideways. The landscape spins wildly. An unseen force pushed him against the seat.

A final bang and everything went dark.

Stevens staggered out of his chair and crawled through an opening. Sunlight slammed into his right eye. For some reason his left one would not open. That side of his face felt sticky too. He walked a few feet then sat down against the rock. A spike of pain ran through his back. Dark shapes approached.

Why can’t I focus? Must be the sun. Kinda bright, sort off….nice to have a glass of water right now. I guess I could get up and get some….

A shadow blocked out the light. Stevens opened his mouth, but no words came out. Distant, uniteligible babble filled his ears. The shadow carried a rifle. Stevens eyes focused on it. The wooden stock, the curved magazine, the dark metal barrel pointed at him. He heard a loud bang.

Everything went dark.

His last thought?

I should never have been here in the first place.




9 comments on “May Flash Fiction Challenge: The Tour

  1. […] out Ralfast’s own 500-word action piece at his site. I’ll be posting my own soon.  Also, if anyone needs inspiration, hit me up and I can pull a […]


  2. lol, very nice story. I like how you ended it. It placed smile on my face. Also nice video. It remind me when I was taking multimedia classes of a project we had to do. Everyone had to make a sync video of what was taking place in the video with the music we choose to use.


  3. […] Well, it took longer than I expected to crank out this little piece, but here it is for Ralfast’s May Flash Fiction Challenge. […]


  4. Yes, I know it was sad but the irony with the ending statement of his last thought made one, well me agree on it. “I should never have been here in the first place” The story started off with him having a gut feeling pretty much that he should not be where he was. Through out the day one negative event happen after the other. So It was not a happy smile or a haha laugh. It was more of an agreement with the ending. Even though he had to be there because it was his job.


  5. […] it is Best to Let Go by Mike Not Quite the Full Cliche by Winn Smith The Keepsake by Yikici The Tour by Ralfast Wounds by Julie Glover His Heart or Hers by Haley […]


  6. I liked the cyclical nature of your story. It worked well. He definitely had a bad day. Your story was powerfully written. Thanks for participating in my challenge.


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