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The “Let’s Talk” Blogfest: For The Love of Cereal


This excerpt from my first novel, Neither Here nor There…. is my entry in the “Let’s Talk” Blogfest. I hope it fulfills the requirements of a funny, if not sparkling, conversation.  Set in the parking lot of a English supermarket.

Enjoy!

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Car loaded I was ready to go when I heard a crunching sound coming from the passenger seat. There sat Michael, with an open box of cereal, munching away like a goat. I glared at him, daring him to explain himself.

“Whrort?”he said. Pieces of cereal spilled from his mouth.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Earting.”

“Can’t you just wait until we get home?”

“Nuormmm, missed breakfast.”

“Just put that box in the back with the rest of the groceries. You can stuff your face once we get back home.”

“The boort is fullr.”

“The what is what?”

He swallowed, “The boot is full.”

“The boot? What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t ask you to stuff the box in your shoes!”

Michael stared at me in utter disbelief, “Get out.”

“What?”

“Get out of the car!”

“This is my car, YOU get out!”

“Fine!” Michael kicked the passenger side door open and got out.

We met in the back of the car. I popped the trunk open and waited for him to put the cereal box in its place. Instead he just stood there. He pointed at the trunk.,“This is the boot.”

“No it isn’t. That’s the trunk. These,” I pointed at my shoes, “are boots.”

His face went from red to purple, “IS THE SAME FUCKING THING YOU IDIOT!” A family getting into their minivan stared at us. The smallest of the children, a little blond girl, stared slack jawed at Michael.

“What is?” I said perplexed.

“The trunk and the boot. The boot and the trunk. Trunk…boot…boot…trunk!”

“Oooh!” The tips of my ears burned, as they did every time  I succumbed to a severe bout of the Stupids. I rallied back, “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!”

“No it isn’t. It’s just a name. Same thing different name.”

“So…let me get this straight, you call the trunk of the car a boot, right?”

“YES!”

“Why?”

“How the bloody hell should I know!”

My answer came in the form of me ripping the cereal box from Michael’s hand, stuffing in the…boot, trunk, whatever, “Plenty of space.”

Michael rolled his eyes. Back inside the car I felt the need to ask another stupid question, “Any other part of the car named after a piece of clothing that I should know about?”

Michael pointed at the hood, “The bonnet”.

I circled my index finger over the top of my head, “Like the hat?”

“Like the hat.”

“Anything else?”

“No.”

I turned the ignition, “Stupid.”

“Idiot.”

I turned to reply when I saw that he, somehow, had a box of cereal in his hands, the same one I just threw in the trunk… I meant, boot a second a go. On our way out the lot I ripped the box from his hands and tossed it out the window. It landed inside a trash bin near the exit of the parking lot.

Above the bin a sign read, “Thank you for shopping with us. Have a nice day!”

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Follow the link above and check out the rest of the entries.  Please! 🙂

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13 comments on “The “Let’s Talk” Blogfest: For The Love of Cereal

  1. LOL This was great!

    You know, I’ve always wondered why they call it a “boot” too. 😀

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  2. That was funny – I really enjoyed it! Him mumbling through his cereal and the two of them arguing over calling the trunk the boot, really good stuff. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. This was a really fun excerpt. Their squabble over calling the trunk a boot was really good dialogue. They sounded very realistic and thus, easy to picture.

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  4. These two are hilarious! Good dialogue.

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  5. Very funny. Even though I don’t know who the characters are, I still get a great sense of their relationship. Nice dialogue

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  6. The part where he’s talking through his cereal is AWESOME. perfectly done, with just enough language abuse to make it work without being irritating. Nice scene!

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    • Thank you all, for the great messages. I’m glad that the excerpt had the desired effect. I was worried that nobody would like it and what that would say (if anything) about the larger work.

      For those who are wondering the narrator (Anthony) and Michael are brothers, half-brothers and the filial as well as culture clash between them is at the heart of the story (from whence this blog gets its name).

      Again, thank you.

      @Gypsy

      Glad to have you back and that you had a great vacation in the states. 😀

      Like

  7. […] if you haven’t check out  my entry in the “Let’s Talk” Blogfest, go here and check it out. I appreciate your […]

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  8. Ha! British words are silly. 🙂 At first, I didn’t know who the narrator was, so he/she sounded awfully harsh and intolerant. But then when I read the comment that they are brothers–OK, now I get it! They fight just like siblings.

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  9. Thanks so much, Ralfast! 🙂

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  10. I enjoyed it also. Now I wish I would’ve explored the blogfest when you first mentioned it. Sounds like a lot of fun.

    This makes me want to read more. 🙂 I love the title too.

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  11. […] Filed under: 1 — ralfast @ 8:01 pm This short was meant, originally, to be the entry in the “Let’s Talk” Blogfest, but honestly, I didn’t feel like writing something new, so I cut and pasted an excerpt from […]

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