Total Confusion

Well you asked for it, so here it is. This is part III of story. If you haven’t read the last two parts, scroll down or click on the following links:

Part I

Part II


We both got up from the table. “Linda, this is Kiky, I mean Rebeca.  Rebeca, this is Linda, my fiance.”

They shook hands the way kids shake hands after a teacher caught them fighting on the schoolyard.  I had to think fast, otherwise I could kiss my plans for the future goodbye. I thought something completely crazy, but I didn’t have much room to maneuver here. Then again, they didn’t call me Johnny the Idea Man from Alpha Ki for nothing.

“Linda, Rebeca is Paul’s sister and a former girlfriend of mine.  We were just catching up, but now that you’re here I think it would best if you talk to her while I go home and take care of some stuff for the wedding.”

“What?” they uttered in unison.

“Sure. I mean, Rebeca knows me from way back when, and I’m suuure that she can fill you on all kinds of gossip and stuff about me that you are dying to known but never asked. And Rebeca, you really want to known about my life after college, well Linda knows all about it. She is certainly not going to omit any juicy details you might be interested in.”

They look at each other, then at me, and back again. I knew I was going to regret this, but you don’t question a Hail Mary pass once you thrown the ball.

“I could tell her about the time you got tonsillitis,” Rebeca said.

“You told me you had tonsils removed when you were six, Johnny,” Linda said.

“But did  he tell you that the reason why he got removed was because he spent an entire afternoon eating dirt cakes with my brother? They both lost their tonsils the same day,” Rebeca said.

“Really?” Linda took my seat.

I’m regretting this already!

“See, who else can tell you the most embarrassing stuff about me but my dear old friend Rebeca,” I said.

“I’ll be like My Best Friend’s Weeding,” Rebeca said with a wry smile.

“Yeah, sure. Except that I thought Cameron Diaz was and is still hotter than Julia Roberts,” I said.

I leaned over to kiss Linda goodbye and took the chance to whisper in her ear really fast, “Whatever you do, don’t piss her off. All I really wanted was to make sure we were cool, and I did it because Paul asked me too. If she is happy, then Paul will fill in for Bobby. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it was all last minute.” I fixed my tie. “Well, it was nice talking to you again Rebeca, and if you don’t have any plans you can drop by the chapel around one o’clock on Christmas day. Oh, and make sure Paul shows, I would hate for my best friend not be there. OK? Cool. Well I’ll let you two talk. Bye!”  I bolted out of there as fast as my legs would take me. On my way I saw the same woman who gave me the strange look, now looking puzzled at the direction of my former table. Then it clicked. She was one of Linda’s friends that came up from Georgia for the wedding.

So that’s how she knew.

I went back to my parent’s home and slept. Only forty eight hours to the wedding. The next night I hear a car horn blare in front of the house. My mother called me from down stairs. “Johnny, it’s your friend Bobby!”

My what now!

I got downstairs two steps at a time. As I opened the door I saw Richie opening the passenger side of his truck. Bobby slid out of the seat and into a waiting wheelchair.

“What the hell?” I said at the sight of Bobby in cut off shorts with both legs, chest and arms in casts and some kind of orthopedic collar around his neck. Bobby merely shrugged.

“Hey man! Doctors said that I’ll be fine in month or so, just got to take easy! Sorry about spoiling your plans, but I want to make it up to you.” I wanted to ask how he was going to do that, but the capacity for coherent thought abandoned me. Apparently the look on my face said all that needed to be said because the next words out of Bobby’s mouth were, “BACHELOR PARTY!

Regrets, I collect them!


Well, I hope you like it. I’ll try to post the conclusion sometime tomorrow. Until then I leave you with Sixpence None the Richer-Silent Night:

6 comments on “Total Confusion

  1. I’m glad you posted that and am looking forward to reading the rest.

    I did have to giggle because I read this line wrong at first: “Linda, Rebeca is Paul’s sister and a former girlfriend.” I read it as, “Paul’s sister and former girlfriend”. But then, you’d be writing a totally different kind of story. 😉


    • Yeah, it would be. :O


      The line makes sense in context, with the Linda added, I guess. But I am hashing them out quickly so revisions are always in order. 😉


  2. Great story! Great video! Merry Christmas, Rafael.


  3. LOL Talk about taking the coward’s way out! He is one smooth operator.:-)

    Can’t wait to see what happens next – all kinds of interesting things could happen at that bachelor party.


    • @Tasha

      Thank you, one more installments left. Lets see if I can keep your hooked till the end.


      Thank you! The video has become something of a personal Xmas classic. And Merry Christmas to you and yours. 😀


      Discretion (and quick thinking) are the better parts of valor. 😉

      Let’s see what happens!


  4. […] last part of our little holiday story. […]


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