A Hook to Hang My Query On (Or Hang Myself With)

Like Ahab searching for the White Whale, my obsessive quest for the perfect hook has turned my mind into mush.

I think that explains the picture above.

I really don’t know.

I spent the last couple of days writing possible hooks.  I have a few that are respectable (I think) but no way of knowing which one works. Maybe I’m trying to hard, after all Voltaire said that “Perfect is the Enemy of Good Enough”, or some such thing.

So I’ll throw a few in here and see what you all think.

In no particular order:

His father’s death sets Antony down the path of redemption where he learns that life belongs to the living and not the dead.

Antony is not like his father, he does not run away from his problems. But when the problem is his own maimed soul, one that threatens to destroy everything he worked hard to build, Antony learns that you can not run away from yourself.

A father’s last act sets his son on path of confrontation, love, and ultimately, redemption

No one needed redemption more or sought it less than Antony Mendoza. It is hard to fix what you don’t believe it’s broken, specially if that which needs fixing lies deep within yourself.

Antony’s life was not perfect but good enough until a single letter propels him across the Atlantic and into an unexpected path of redemption.

Antony Mendoza is an excellent problem solver excepts when it comes to matters of his own heart.

You can see one word throughout the different hooks, redemption, which is the central theme of the book. But did any of the entries above do enough to hook a reader into asking to see more?

Any suggestions, critiques or help will be most welcomed oh gentle readers. With my thanks, of course!

And I really need the help. I feel just like this poor pup:

10 comments on “A Hook to Hang My Query On (Or Hang Myself With)

  1. OK, you asked. 🙂

    My vote is for the second to last. “Antony’s life was not perfect but good enough until a single letter propels him across the Atlantic and into an unexpected path of redemption.”

    The others don’t seem fresh enough. I feel as though I’ve read them many times. This one has three interesting features: “not perfect, but good enough” – that interests me; a single letter propelling him – interests me; and redemption – your required word.


    • Yes, yes I did! 😀

      Thank you for responding.

      I can see why the others read like retreads. I’ve read every example I could get my hands on and they seem to have made their way through my eyes down to my pen.

      I’ll see if I can work polish that one and follow it up with a full kick ass letter.

      Again, thanks!


  2. Yeah, of those choices, i’d say the second to last is best as well 🙂


  3. I like the second-to-last one for the sense of motion and action in it: the others have theme, but not movement. (Also for the idea of settling for a “good enough” life –nice.) But, being a pain in the ass on Monday mornings, I have to say I also love the concept in the third-to-last one: it’s hard to fix what you don’t believe is broken.

    If it were me, I’d try to get them both into my query. But I’m neurotic, so take that with some salt. 🙂


  4. I like 3, 4, and 5. But I think that 5 is the best. It makes me want to find out what happens to Antony. Definitely the action. Is there romance?

    And the pup is so cute!


    • 4 for #5 with a smattering of second and third choices. This is good, very good. As for romance, well as Grandma Wilkins would say “Romance is an illusion, Love is Real.”

      I guess I can throw that is as well.


  5. I’d go with the second to last.


  6. […] I like to thank everyone who posted comments about the hook. They helped a […]


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