February AW Blogroll: Love vs. Romance

Welcome to the February AW Blogroll. Lets start with the rules:

It (the blogroll)can be themed or not. This one will be.

The first person just makes a post on their blog.

The person following will take some element from the previous blogger and make their own post, including that element.

Please link back to the previous poster with a permalink and also include a link to the blog of the next poster.

The last person tries to tie their post to the first poster and to the previous poster

Please post the links in your blog of everyone participating in the chain, if possible.

OK, like I said this one is themed. And what better theme for the month of February that love and romance. Or should I say love vs. romance.


Oxymoron alert?

Not quite. In fact I find them to be diametrically opposite. I hate romance. Not the romantic interlude, or a character having a romantic interest, I just hate romance as seen today in books and movies:

I hate the ridiculous attempts by writers of sitcoms to keep the characters in a sitcom at arms length for the sake of “romantic tension”. If the only reason why people are still watching your show is to see if the two characters are going to get together, then a) you don’t have much of a show, and b) you suck as writers.

I hate all manner of love triangles, quadrangles or octagons. That’s not love, that is cheating. You can be attracted to a number of people, but you got to choose to be faithful or not. When is the last time you met someone who was in such a self-made mess?

To me a real love story is not about getting the girl, or the boy, but about keeping them. I’m willing to tolerate the artifice of the romantic story only in romatic comedies, which allow me to laugh with and at the whole ridiculous situation. As a character in my recent novel said “Romance is fantasy, love is real”.  And nothing is more fake than St. Valentine. Should he be doing all of this every day or at any given time, not just on a given calendar day set by the greeting card industry to drive up sales?

I’ll take a real love story that deals with trials and tribulations actual relationships. Please keep the contrived scenes to yourself.

So what do you think? Love or Romance? Why do you like one but not the other? Or am I just a clueless hater? Care to prove me wrong?

I’ll leave those questions to the rest of our blogchain participants, starting with Razibahmed over at SouthAsiaBlog.

Kat Frass






Cathy C




P.S. And to confuse you even more, here is the a video for the best song of the 1980s! Enjoy!

18 comments on “February AW Blogroll: Love vs. Romance

  1. You can have love without romance. You can have romance without love.

    I prefer them both at the same time.


  2. Interesting thoughts. I’m curious to see where this goes.


  3. […] is time for February AW Blog Chain. Ralph Pines has started the chain with ‘Love vs. Romance’ and he supported love and he said that he is not […]


  4. Hi Ralph. Thanks for arranging February Blog Chain. Just one thing, I am taking part in this blog with South Asia Blog http://www.southasiablog.com/
    What I feel that many of us like to read about love in books and watch romance in TV or movies.


  5. […] this chain, Ralph Pines started us off with his take on love vs romance and how he hates  romantic tension in sitcoms.  […]


  6. Ralph,

    I actually like sexual tension in tv shows. If it is well done, then it adds an extra layer to the show. As long as it isn’t the main point, it keeps the viewers on their toes. Too often, I find that when the sexual tension is gone from a show, the whole thing folds. Sure, it could be poor writing… but I think that the sexual tension adds a layer of “realness” to the characters, and I think that viewers can relate to that. Sexual tension in real life is fun and exciting… and I think the viewers bring that feeling of excitement with them when they sit down in front of the tube.

    or… maybe not… LOL

    Thanks for setting up this blog chain. TONS of fun! 🙂


    • I agree that a bit of sexual tension is necessary, but I hate the cliche of hanging the whole show on the “Will they or Won’t they” formula. Its trite.


  7. Hmmm, I like to read realistic portrayals of both but where the two are intertwined. But, again, after the romance is gone, how to keep the love alive? Often, I read stories (and frankly, I tend to write them too) where the characters meet and fall and love and…..fade to black. Will they stay together? For the long haul? I also like reading stories where you see things fall apart. Sometimes it a slow drip, drip, drip and other times it’s one big explosion. As long as its well-written, I’ll read it.


  8. I agree that a bit of sexual tension is necessary, but I hate the cliche of hanging the whole show on the “Will they or Won’t they” formula. Its trite.


    Hey Ralfast,

    Totally agree with you here. Sexual tension can be tons of fun, but I don’t like when it’s the main focus of a show. It’s always the same. The writers put so much emphasis on the, “will they, won’t they. Okay. We know they will…but when…” that when the characters actually do- the writers don’t know what else to do with them.


  9. […] around romance and love or perhaps romance vs love. Bloggers who’ve had their say so far are: Ralfast Love vs Romance. He hates the will-they won’t-they plots. SouthAsiaBlog Ben Solah and […]


  10. I’m not sure I agree about love and romance being diametrically opposite, although I do think they are two different things. They can — and often do — coexist, however.


    • I guess I wrote that as an agent provocateur of sorts, a way to kick start the conversation. Yet they are indeed different and much heartache comes from the confusing of the two.


  11. […] AW blog chain that is themed Love vs. Romance. Bloggers that came before me on the chain include: Ralfast SouthAsiaBlog Ben Solah and AmyDoodle […]


  12. Love and romance may be two different things but they definitely need each other. Romance is very important in long term relationships. No one likes feeling neglected or taken for granted. Often, its the small, little romantic gestures that mean so much.


  13. […] genre. Commercial fiction seems a bit bland and as long time readers know, I am not a fan of romance or some of its associated […]


  14. […] consider myself a “romantic” writer. In fact I once wrote a post titled “Love vs. Romance“. Having said that most of my stories do contain a romantic subplot. The first didn’t […]


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