Tweet of the Day: Spreading the Love
Unless you’re using some sort of magic to make them shamble into existence, zombies don’t work for me. I know everybody is crazy about the Z-word these days, from the zombie apocalypse to the latest YA Z-Romance, but walking rotting corpses aren’t scary or lovable.
Funny, oh gawd yes!
But that is the exception to the rule.
A few reasons why zombies don’t work:
- They are DEAD: Well duh, of course. But have you ever heard of human decay? Muscle atrophies, ligaments disintegrate, skin breaks. No way a body could walk more than day after (and that’s too long by far) they hit the ground.
- Modern Firepower: A horde of slow moving corpses moving your way? Call in an artillery strike, line up your soldiers with heavy machine guns and assault rifles behind a series of ditches and berms or load beehive type ammo on your tanks and blast away while running them over.
- BRAINS!: They have none and they don’t eat any. They are dead, and after the skin below the ribcage breaks, their entrails (i.e. the whole digestive system) will burst all over their own laps/feet. So eating anything is out of the question.
- Zombies aren’t cannibals: Yes, they will eat the flesh of living humans, but never prey on each other. Really?
I’m sure that you can come up with few more, such as the fact that nobody on TV or the movies has a sense of smell, as in, they don’t smell the rotting corpses from miles away! A few movies (such as 28 Days) have bi-passed the whole “living dead” bit by making zombies just people suffering from super rabies or the equivalent, which makes some sense, but seeing how lethal rabies is, after the first 24-48 hours the first mass infection, most of the victims would be dead and it would run its course.
While I’m on the subject of “da Virus”, its effects also get exaggerated. Yes, it nothing to…sneeze at (groan!) but with modern medicine (and quarantine procedures) outbreaks can be easily contained or at least slowed down. Also, the more virulent the disease, the more likely it will mutate into a non-lethal form or need non-symptomatic carriers (Typhoid Marry-types) to continue to spread. Rotting bodies moaning about are not the best carrier form.
Again, unless we are talking about magically animated bodies or a sudden outbreak in a remote town in the Pacific north west, zombies don’t make much sense. And no, they don’t make for the best bad boy/cheerleader boy/girlfriend either. That’s what vampires are for. They too are dead, but we all know that magic is involved, so no problem there.
And one more thing:
A big thank you to all the commentators who stop by and drop ego boosting comments on the blog. It is nice to know that my stories are liked by someone and that there is some hope for my writing. Special mention goes to:
- Sonia G. Medeiros,
- Colby Marshall, (laugh a minute dancer and most excellent dog trainer)
- C.R. Ward, Aheïla (way better writer that I will ever be, and that is a great thing),
- AlyssC01 (fellow gamer and Shepard fan),
- Gene Lempp (of the most excellent historical blog posts) ,
- Michal (spec-fic guru),
- Lee Reynoldson (whose name seems ripped from the veryRPG modules he writes)
- Susan Sipal (fellow HP fan and writer) and last but not least, my #1 fan (gods and goddesses knows why but hey she is!),
If I didn’t mention you, please speak up so I can properly thank you!