Tweet of the Day: The Good, the Bad, and the Timeskip
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Another Atsiko entry. This one deals with managing time within your work by using a time skip. So go over there and read it while I come up with some So Bad It’s Horrible lines for this month’s AW Blog Chain.
Go on, shoo!
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This month’s prompt: the Mini Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
The Mini Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest means trying to write the worst possible first line of a book or story in the spirit of Edward “It was a dark and stormy night…” Bulwer-Lytton. “Worst” in this case is subjective, but florid and ridiculous purple prose is probably closest to the spirit of the thing. Here is a page of examples if you need ‘em.
Simply post in this thread to join. Each post must consist of a single sentence; sentences may be of any length but less than 50-60 words is highly recommended for reasons of general sanity. Read and comment on other participants’ posts if you possibly can–they’ll be doing the same for you!
Okay then.
This is going to be harder than I thought.
I guess I could write some gibberish and get it over with….I guess…
Without further ado:
She was so nervous that she dove deep into a sea of sesquipedalian loquaciousness in order to extract herself from the precarious conundrum she found herself ensnared in.
Not good enough….or bad enough…oh boy!
A fluid flush of greens, yellows and whites spread across the Spring landscape while the fairies dance around the red cheery tree.
Okay, but it’s a bit short.
One more time, with feeling.
It was a quiet night at the Hampton, writhing fog rode up from the beach into the seaside homes of the Rich, Famous and totally spoiled who lived in the lap of luxury surrounded by the wealth stolen from the many millions who toiled every day just so that non deserving braggarts could admire a summer long parade of champagne soaked sunsets.
Long, verbose and nonsensical.
Mission accomplished!
Now it’s up to Euclid. Take it away….
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The participants so far:
orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
AuburnAssassin – http://clairegillian.com (link to this month’s post)
dolores haze – http://dianedooley.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Horseflye – http://thecozylittleplot.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Proach – http://www.deannaproach.com/ (link to this month’s post)
BigWords – http://bigwords88.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
jkellerford – http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Ralph Pines (ME!) – http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Euclid – http://euclid-thoughts.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Diana Rajchel – http://blog.dianarajchel.com/ (link to this month’s post)
pezie – http://www.erinbrambilla.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Guardian – http://daewrites.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
egoodlett – http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Alpha Echo – http://writersramblings81.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
xcomplex – http://arielemerald.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
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The third one is the best of the worst. Made me wonder what The Great Gatsby would have turned into if this had been the opening line. Writhing fog? LOL!
Animated inanimate weather phenomenon makes for the best (worst) writing.
[...] to this month’s post) Ralph Pines - http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post) Euclid - http://euclid-thoughts.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post) Diana Rajchel [...]
I vote for the first as being the worst. Or, in this case, the best.
I like that one to. It reminded me of GoF, at least the movie.
Ah the first one…ending on a preposition. How perfectly horrible! (And does the third one channel a little bottled up fury over certain Bail-Outs and Golden Parachutes?)
Why would you say such a thing?
I loved the last one the most. Geez, did you come up for air at all???
Stream of consciousness.
sesquipedalian loquaciousness made me laugh
but I have to agree, the last one was the best/worst! Although, I did rather like the image of champagne-soaked sunsets…
There you go. You can always rescue something from even the worse lines.
The first relies on outdated and flowery vocabulary, the second on schmaltz, and the third on blatant editorializing and agglutination. Each is bad in its own special way!
I had to look up that second word! My Yiddish is a bit rusty. Great way of describing it all.
Your Yiddish, rusty? Oy, such meshugaas you talk!
That is hilarious!
The last one was definitely the best at being worst. Though they are all bad in their own, funny ways. Nice job!
I think the first sentence is the best of the worst. I couldn’t even get past those long words.
@Proach, Erin & Sonia
Apologies for the late reply. Being kind of busy.
I think it’s between the first and the last. One has lost of big words that signify nothing while the other is just a nonsensical rant that means even less!
This phrase: “a sea of sesquipedalian loquaciousness” should qualify for at least an honorable mention. LOL. I’d give the nod to it but I can actually tell there’s a meaningful (well, sort of) opening there whereas the 3rd one, I’m shaking my head wondering if anything has been said other than rich people live in Hampton…over and over again. So, for trying to be bad, you definitely succeeded.
I succeeded at being horrible…yay! Wait a second….
[...] to this month’s post) Ralph Pines - http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to this month’s post) Diana Rajchel - http://blog.dianarajchel.com/ (link to this month’s post) pezie [...]