2008 started with the specter of unfinished goals and family illness. I found out that my dad had cancer. I confronted his mortality head on and in doing so confronted my own. Faced with death, I chose to live, to deal, to move on. And so I started putting words together in this blog. Day after day I wrote or tried to. The story that came out was like nothing I ever thought I would write. But it made me what I always wanted to be but was to afraid to be, a writer. And if I could write, I could exercise, I could repair my relationship with my dad. I stopped worrying about the time lost and concentrated on the time I had, right now, to do whatever I wanted to do. I learned that Depression is a real thing, a beast that robbed me of strength but that could be, if not slain, then tamed.
Then dad had an operation.
I saw him for what he was and not what I thought he should be and I saw a little of what he really saw in me instead of what I thought he saw.
Then it seemed that the cancer had returned.
But not really.
And I wrote a first draft.
Plus a TV series bible.
And competed in NaNo (and won!)
Connected with other struggling writers across the electronic ether.
Discovered old friends.
Forgave myself for my short comings.
Discovered a future full of possibilities.
The value of making the routine of life your own.
The joy of setting goals and accomplishing them.
Saw history being made.
In the spirit of all that and more I set a few goals for the upcoming year:
- To finish Neither Here nor There….
- To get an agent
- To get published
- To keep writing
- To keep working out in order to reach a healthy weight
- To continue my search for mental health
- To find the courage to confront all lives ills head on
- To re-connect with old friends and make new ones
- To expand my horizons
- To find a better job
- To live life to the fullest
- To boldly go where I never gone before in mind, body and soul
A year ago I would have said that the above was nothing but bullshit, but not today. This year, this 2008, has been the best year I had in a decade, at least and I plan to make 2009, come what may, even better.