I feel just like that. Reminds me of my Boy Scout days. The Boys Scouts are like British Colonial Infantry Regiments, without the rifles. We did a lot of walking, marching, running back in the day. When you walk long distances there comes a time between your feet going on automatic and total collapse where your mind starts to prostest, thinking of a million and one reasons why you should stop. But you can’t stop, because if you do, starting again will be even more difficult. I managed by telling myself “You’ll get there. Each step gets you closer to where you want to go.” And so it went.
Writing is like that. You put one word after the other, each one inching you closer to your goal. Except that with writing, there is no car waiting at you destination, no soft bed, just more writing. Of course writing is far more rewarding than marching, at least for me, but still it feels like every goal reached was merely a skip and hop while the future goals looke like they are half way around the world. And not to mention the endless parade of reality checks:
My book may not be long enough
First I need to fight the Battle of the Agent Slush Pile
After climbing to the top of the pile and capturing an agent then they have to go out and wage the Editor’s Crusade on my behalf
Then comes the Deal, when I discover that my book will not make me rich
The book hits the shelf. Now pack your bags, you are going on a book store
Oh your first book was great, when can I expect the second one, wait you mean it is not in the same genre?
You get the picture. I done more this year than ever before, writing wise, but that little naysayer in the back of my mind is still screaming for me to stop. Well, if I stop it will be harder to start again, so, one word at a time. I’ll get there….